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Gaslighting: Examples + Responses


Gaslighting - Examples & Responses
Gaslighting - Examples & Responses

"The gaslighter might try to convince others that the victim is mentally unstable so that they can further discredit any claims the victim is making."


Gaslighting is a tactic that is used by a person or entity to gain more power. It is a form of manipulation and psychological control, and it is used to make a victim question their reality.

The phrase originates from the play Gas Light, which became a movie in 1944; a man manipulates his wife to believing that she is crazy by using a variety of tricks, causing her to question her and her own sanity.


Definition:


Gaslighting is a type of emotional abuse that can happen to anyone, in any relationship, it is especially common in romantic relationships. Abusers gaslight their victims in order to maintain control in the relationship, and make their victim question their own perception and understanding of events and the world around them. Additionally, the effects of gaslighting may make it even harder for the victim to leave an abusive relationship as they may not even realize it is happening.


How Gaslighting works:

  • Gaslighting often causes the victim to doubt themselves.

  • Gaslighters will make their victims doubt their memory.

"The gaslighter might try to convince others that the victim is mentally unstable so that they can further discredit any claims the victim is making."


Examples of Gaslighting:

“Don't take it personally.”

This is a phrase used by gaslighters to minimize and invalidate the victim's feelings.

“That never happened, what are you talking about?”

The gaslighter might try to convince others that the victim is mentally unstable so that they can further discredit any claims the victim is making

“I'm sorry that you think that I hurt you.” or “I'm sorry that you feel that way.”

This kind of apology leaves the victim questioning their own judgement and wondering if they really did overreact.

“You should have known how I would react.” and “You're being irrational or insecure.”

This is another way an abuser will deflect responsibility onto the victim.


Recognizing Gaslighting:


Gaslighting involves a pattern of abusive behaviors with the intent not just to influence someone, but to control them. Manipulation is a component of gaslighting, and it is the primary tool of a gaslighter to keep their victims hooked, so they often try to lure a partner back with the promise of changed behavior or positive reinforcement. Over time, the victims' trust and value in themselves will erode and they often become too trusting, which is the intent of the Gaslighter, they work to make their victims feel dependent on them.




Examples of Gaslighting and How to Respond





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